Listening

There is a scene from Tarantino's Pulp Fiction which the director deleted from the original that I feel made a very important statement about communication, even though it is unimportant to the film itself, and is probably the reason Tarantino deleted it.  It takes place in Mia's place when she first meets Vincent prior to going to have dinner at Jack Rabbit Slim's.  Mia appears with a video camera and asks trivia type questions of Vincent in order to determine the type of person he is.  Did he prefer The Brady Bunch or The Partridge Family?  Is he a Beatles man or an Elvis man?  And finally Mia's most interesting question:  When you are having a conversation with people, do you listen, or wait to speak?  And Vincent answers:  I have to admit that I wait to speak, but I'm trying very hard to listen.

And isn't that the problem we seem to be having with the gun violence issue in America?  Everyone is speaking, but no one is listening.  No one is even trying very hard to listen.  If it could be agreed that a reasonable discussion be held, and all agree to listen--truly listen--to the others' points, perhaps we could accomplish something that would reduce the level of gun violence.  No matter how minor the accomplishment would be, it would be an improvement over the existing situation.

What seems to be missing is the desire to listen.  I won't say that one group or the other is solely to blame (although I have my personal opinion), because that will not be beneficial.  It will only drive us further apart.  And I do believe that we are so very far apart today (and we may always have been) that no amount of effort applied may be able to reverse it.  But we must try, for the sake of our children, our grandchildren, and our country.

Years ago I worked for an engineering company whose head of the Personnel Department (before they became the Human Resources Department--I have never seen an Inhuman Resources Department) had many good in-house programs to improve interdepartmental communications.  One was an Active Listening seminar.  I think that is what we need as a society today--a mandatory Active Listening seminar before we are permitted to vote in elections.  Like passing a driving test before getting a license.  We have to learn to hear what others say, to demonstrate a sincere understanding of what they are saying.  Nothing should be assumed, else it be misinterpreted.  Suspend judgment of others until you listen.  Try very hard to listen.